Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i've created a new STD.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
