Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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