The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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