walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
