I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
