who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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