just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
