I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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