oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
