i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize