i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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