Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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