at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
