I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
