So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize