just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
