why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize