well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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