let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I skipped work to stalk him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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