I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
