how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
