no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
