we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Randomize
