even my farts smell like vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize