So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize