this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
