I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
