last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
