I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
