Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
