why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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