My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
