i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
