I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
