i already hear my dad disowning me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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