This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize