let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
