FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
