great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
