so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
