Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I skipped work to stalk him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
