Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
