So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
