Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
