DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Houston, we have a blender
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
