I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.