i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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