just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize