I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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