Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
