I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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