Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
