Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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