the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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