We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
