While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize