I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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