is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
