I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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