Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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