I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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