Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
