we made out on top of his cat.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize