No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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