Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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