I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
